Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
