direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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