just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
