ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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