He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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