If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
