I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
