I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
