good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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