i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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