i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
