Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
