Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
