What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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