Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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