If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Randomize
