We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
