Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize