I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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