Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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