Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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