when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
