I murdered the dance floor call the cops
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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