after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
