Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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