do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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