Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize