when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
