Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
