3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize