you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
