So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
