is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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