That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
