We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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