Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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