Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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