So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize