yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
