Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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