you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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