Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
