Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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