So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
