her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
