she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize