before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
