Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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