we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We just shotgunned beers for America
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
