I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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