Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
