I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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