So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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