every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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