Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
