apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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