i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
