I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
