so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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