were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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