I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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