he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
