You're my little dorito
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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