He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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