It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
