yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
