At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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